A practice for when life feels hard

Sometimes life is royally hard. Nothing feels right, and relief feels far away. There’s a tool I call on at times like this. It’s a Tibetan practice called ‘Tonglen’ that I learned several years ago from reading Pema Chodron’s book ‘When things fall apart’.

I was living in Far North Queensland at the time, in a miserable relationship, and nursing a terribly aching, disappointed heart. As you might have guessed I banked a lot on both that relationship and it’s consequent life in the far north. But that’s quite another story. I also happened to be several thousand kilometres from home – hence my friend Roby offering me Pema’s book to help get me through. I can’t overemphasise how useful that book has been as a resource in the years since, and most especially the practice of Tonglen.

Basically, Tonglen, as I understand it, is about identifying the pain you’re feeling, and as you breathe in, you extend your awareness from a focus on your own pain, to imagining a thread of connection with everyone else who’s simultaneously feeling this